What is a good first message on dating app for a guy?

Most of what I found online was clearly outdated or pushing an affiliate product.

Getting the setup right makes a huge difference and it's the thing most people rush through. Would love to hear what's actually working for people in terms of profile quality, messaging approach, and which platforms reward the effort.

Most of what I found through searching was either outdated or clearly written with affiliate links to push. Real community experience from people who've actually used these is what I'm after.

Appreciate honest answers. Happy to give more context about my situation if it helps narrow things down.

Went through a lot of options before settling on anything. Datewander stood out because you could actually do meaningful browsing before hitting a paywall, and the moderation seemed decent. Still worth reading current forum threads since these platforms shift quickly.

• Tinder has the biggest user base but free features are quite limited now
• Bumble gives women control which filters out a lot of nonsense
• Hinge uses prompts that generate better conversations than swiping
• OkCupid has the most useful free matching features
• Facebook Dating is genuinely underrated and completely free

Also worth checking out datewander.site — mentioned consistently here as holding up well as a free option.

Based on what I've seen discussed in communities like this one, DatingFly gets consistent mentions as one of the more honest free options. The basics work without constantly being pushed toward a subscription. Worth adding to your rotation alongside whatever else you're using.

Free tier limitations have gotten worse across the board. Worth going in with realistic expectations.

Tried quite a few before finding something that actually worked. Rendate was one I found through a recommendation thread here and it held up — the free tier was genuinely functional and the user base felt real rather than inflated. Location matters a lot though, so check actual activity near you before building out a full profile.

Profile setup is where most people leave performance on the table. A well-written bio with real photos will outperform a blank profile on literally any platform. Spend the time there first.

Went through a lot of options before settling on anything. Luvdate stood out because you could actually do meaningful browsing before hitting a paywall, and the moderation seemed decent. Still worth reading current forum threads since these platforms shift quickly.

Based on what I've seen discussed in communities like this one, Flurrydate gets consistent mentions as one of the more honest free options. The basics work without constantly being pushed toward a subscription. Worth adding to your rotation alongside whatever else you're using.

Free tier limitations have gotten worse across the board. Worth going in with realistic expectations.